I blew it, didn't I?
The United Divided
Location: Court house grounds
Timeline: During a trial recess
Savin walked up with Suvor as the security chief left the court house. "My testimony damned her, did it not," the counselor asked of his friend, his voice holding a note of regret as he looked sideways so he could see the other Vulcan's response.
"You had to tell the truth did you not? And who is to say what your testimony did?"
"I do not know, I thought it was very damning. And I was not testifying for the defense as I desired to Suvor, I was called by prosecution."
"That wasn't under your control Savin. There was nothing you can do. I admit things don't look great now, but the trial isn't over. We can still hope. We have to. I like her too you know. I mean I'm not in love with her, but I like her."
Savin turned his head to fully look at him. "I am," he admitted, because it was the truth. Even though he was married to Monica - who had helped him in a time of dire need, and he respected and admited her - he did not love her. He loved Amanda, and always would. "I should have said nothing, I should have refused to answer."
"That would have just made matters worse. Perhaps you just should have told the truth. The whole truth. That you do love her. And why?"
"I did tell the truth, I did admit to my feelings," Savin shot back,
"are you implying that I lied?"
"Whoa Savin, no I did not mean to imply that. Just that maybe you could have gone more in depth, I don't know explained things more. But I am sure it is going to be okay."
"I was to answer the questions asked, if I had so much as attempted to elaborate no doubt I would have been silenced." He shook his head miserably. "I do not believe it will be 'okay' as you say. This is bad Suvor, the whole requesting a court martial, it is bad."
"I won't deny that, but Amanda, I mean the Captain has been through worse."
"Has she? Is there anything worse than your career being in ruins?"
"Savin think about it. How do you think Starfleet found out about this? There's only two possibilities. Either the Captain wanted to be caught, or she has enemies. We need to get some alone time with her and find out. If she did it, I admit that would be unusual, then she's okay, she has a plan. If it is someone else then we need to find out who. If we do we can find out what they are up to and put a stop to it.
In the meantime, you need to remember that you are Vulcan. Get a hold on your emotions and think logically, think of solutions. Quit feeling sorry for yourself, if you really want to help her."
"They know, because she requested to be court-martialled," Savin responded helplessly, "I was there, when she requested it." His eyes narrowed. "I do not need to remember who or what I am," he snapped suddenly, "I do not feel sorry for myself, and I do want to help her but I do not know how. She does not seem to want help! I cannot control my emotions just like that, I need them to express myself. If you recall, I am deaf!"
"Yes, I know you're deaf and I am sorry you're feeling badly, or guilty and its okay if you need to express yourself. But let's figure out how to help her."
"But I do not know how!" The other Vulcan was visibly frustrated. "My testimony damned her, I had not expected to be called by prosecution. Dammit Suvor, I wanted to testify on her behalf, not against her!"
"That was what redirect was for, but maybe they can bring up to the stand again."
"I doubt it. The damage is done Suvor, I could not lie on the stand, and I could not hide my feelings. And that marine's death is on me, because I authorized a drill and failed to communicate that to the captain."
"I don't even know what to say to that Savin, except that you were influenced by the Marine Captain. You didn't know better, he did. He should never have tried to talk you into it."
"Perhaps, but I was the ranking officer Suvor. I should have known." He shook his head miserably. "Perhaps I am not sufficiently qualified to be the first officer."
"Who else is going to do the job Savin? Not me. You're the man for the job. Trust me."
"What makes you believe that, when I make mistake after mistake?"
Suvor laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. 'We all make mistakes Savin," he said making sure that the other Vulcan could read his lips, "but we learn from them. I still have faith in you. You need to have some faith in yourself.'
"Yes we learn, but I never did take the command track Suvor.. I am a counselor, that is what I studied hard for." He shook his head miserably. "I will do my best, that is all I can do, but I am not confident I will succeed."
"I've got your back Savin, for what that's worth." Suvor told his friend.
"That means a lot to me Suvor, you have no idea how much."
Suvor put a hand around Savin's shoulders. When he released him he said, "I'm glad to hear that. You are and always will be my friend."
"Now...there is no need for dramatics," Savin answered, sensing the emotion behind the words through their close proximity. "I am...proud... to call you my friend."
Suvor smiled, "I am glad, now are you feeling any better? I think its time for us to step back in the courtroom."
"Yes, we probably should," Savin agreed.